"Cicerone:" The Death of Modern Language and Culture

An advert on my Gmail page asked me if I knew beer and offered to teach me to become a cicerone.  You think you knew beer after 50 years of drinking the stuff, especially on a low budget and decisions that necessitates: whether to buy a quart of Colt 45 or a 4 pack of Natural Ice tallboys after an evening telemarketing shift.

As a dedicated beer drinker and hellraiser, however, one also does gain an appreciation for some of the finer crafted malted beverages: a crisp Foster's, a Newcastle, and God's gift, a Guinness Stout.

For some people, however, just drinking a coldy ain't good enough.  No-O-ooo, nefarious scoundrels must turn it into something such as a wine tasting, taking that most democratic of alcoholic beverages and turning it into something akin to wine snobbery, using a few catchphrases, "it has a charming bouquet with floral notes and an oak finish," essentially as a marketing ploy.

What beer goes with what foods, you ask.

Guinness goes with EV-er-y-thing makes a good rule to start with.

Sheesh, check out the darn mission statement:

The Cicerone Certification Program certifies and educ ates beer professionals in order to elevate the beer experience for consumers.

Thanks for complicating the only simple part of my, altering the words formerly set in stone of the late Justin Wilson, the beer you should drink is the beer you like.

To attain the master cicerone status, you must have 2 years in beer service endeavours or substitute 3 references from beer purveyors and--oh yeah-pay $695 to take their certification test.  Nearly $700 to "learn" to drink and serve beer.

Preposterous, I say.  Another triumph of marketing overr common sense I do proclaim.  A quick glance at their list showed 7 certified Master Cicerones in the whole USA, one with a designation of Consultant a la Biere after his name; it makes me laugh, scoffing at the whole notion., casting ridicule and aspersions in that general direction.

$695 to learn to sling beers,  Ludicrous!

Sheesh, I need a beer, dammit!

Guinness Tastes Better in Ireland

Well duh.

[. All Guinness sold in Ireland is made in Ireland, so the travel miles are minimal in comparison. Meaning an Irish pint of Guinness is probably the freshest on offer.

2. Guinness is a popular is almost every watering hole in Ireland, which means there the draw on the lines is regular, which in turn drastically, increases the quality of the stout.

3. In Ireland the Guinness is usually only sold in a proper branded glass, which is the perfect shape and volume for a pint. You wouldn’t expect to be served a glass of Chardonnay in a tumbler while in Napa Valley. Same thing applies for Guinness in Ireland.

4. A publican outside of Ireland is more unlikely to have the correct combination of gases. Guinness has a carbonated level less than half of a normal beer and the perfect pint involves a precise blend of carbon dioxide and nitrogen.

5. Working in an bar anywhere in Ireland, one of the first things you learn to do is pull a pint of Guinness. Tilting the glass as you pour, allowing enough time for it to settle before topping it off with the perfect head, is a skill acquired by few but mastered by the Irish.

6. Like most beers ales, Guinness must be served at the correct temperature. The beverage will fail to release its full flavor if it is too cold.

7. Guinness representatives are on call in Ireland if there are any issues and also make regular visits to ensure that the lines are clean.

8. Nothing compares to the feeling of authenticity when drinking a pint of Guinness in the country where it originated.

9. Scientists have proven that nothing compares to a pint of Guinness stout in Ireland, after an extensive study.

10. Guinness is to Ireland what lobsters are to Maine, what pizza is to Italy. It is one drink that is served with pride in Ireland.]

Guinness IS Good for You

[The old advertising slogan ‘Guinness is good for you’ is actually true it seems.

While Diageo, the manufacturer, makes no health claims for the product, scientific research shows a pint of Guinness a day is actually good for your health.

Indeed it may work as well as a low dose of aspirin to prevent heart attacks.

Researchers at the University of Wisconsin made the discovery recently.

The Wisconsin scientists gave Guinness to dogs who had narrowed arteries. They found the Guinness worked as well as aspirin in preventing clots forming.

The researchers told a convention of the American Heart Association in Orlando, Florida, that a pint of Guinness taken at meal time had the best impact.]

http://www.irishcentral.com/roots/Guinness-is-good-for-you-say-medical-experts-118159174.html