I Want Charley Weis' Head on a Pike

At midfield. In the Swamp. Right in the center of the Gator logo.

Where did he get his reputation as an offensive genius from? From riding Bill Bellichek's and Brady's coat tails.

Great Al Davis' ghost, with a QB coming back from an ankle injury, why on earth would you try to run a spread offense with no one to block/protect John Brantley from certain doom?

Whereof did the papers in preseason report Florida would use an I formation and eschew the spread? The one time yesterday Brantley did take a snap under center, he bobbled it and Gators lost a yard on 3rd and 1.

Even the pre-game announcers as well as Weiss forgot they have Michael Gilleslie at running back on the roster, all he does--gaining 5-7 yards per carry up the middle.

The FL defense got gashed by a running attack led by a fullback through the hole.

Would it amount to too much for Buddha Weis to learn by observation?

>On what planet does a coach stay in the press box at half time to draw up his opening offensive drive?

Why, did the press buffet look too good to pass by at the half?

Yes, that worked well, Charley; they made adjustments and you did not.

Of course, rationally we cannot blame Chucky for left tackle Xavier Nixon playing his way into un-drafted free agent status, giving up4 or 6 sacks.

Wait, yes, I do blame Chunky; even I, punt return team in high school, have seen enough football in my 53 years to know if it ain't working, give the kid some help with a tight end or back to block.

Yelling "Look Out!" while getting hurdled like a turnstile does NOT protect your quarterback.

And Gators on defense, you gots to play 60 minutes in a game not 55 unless you want to emulate the Denver Dolphins.

Miami Dolphins you say? Did not look like that last Sunday.

Charley, wave your world championship rings at the opponent next time. That'll do as well as your predictable game plan, you execrable cretin.

[The author, Daniel Allen Cubs Gators Dolphins Fan Hill, would like to apologize to anyone who looks in any way, shape or form like Charles Weis. As one who walks with a non-standard gait subsequent to spinal injury, it does not often fall to me to criticize humans for physical traits. Taste my oaken cane of indignation if you make fun of me and spit out your teeth like chicklets, damn youse.

Nevertheless, still waiting to see Chuck Weis's offensive genius displayed as university of Florida offensive coordinator.]

Of course, we cannot blame Big Belly, some say, trying to run his system with Pope Urban's players.  Bull hockey, Dad, dude failed at Notre Dame, failed as offensive coordinator in pros after, a colossal failure of Brobdingnagian proportions.

How did such a huge, literally and figuratively, failure get a reputation as a genius?

  I'd say fry the fat bastard except for it would take the electric power of the whole Eastern seaboard.

When do pitchers and catchers report?

Call Me Gator Blues

Newspapers report a FL Gators defensive lineman faces charges for hitting a former AL player after the game this past Saturday.

Wags amongst us might observe that made only Dominique Easley's second hit of the night. The first came in 3rd quarter of the game when he made a tackle in the offensive backfield and celebrated as if he'd just won the Super Bowl, disconcerting in that his team well on the way to a rout and he'd spent most of the game five yards back in defensive backfield, mostly trying to grab a shoelace of an AL running back as they left cleat marks on his chest.

Also, you'd think a left guard who followed offensive genius Charley Weiss to UF from Notre Dame, a redshirt senior, would have learned how to hold an opponent rather than give up a sack and get the QB hurt. Giving up 10 yards will always prove better than getting your QB concussed or knocked out of the game, and almost get his leg broken.

Also, an astute observer of football might question trying to block stud AL linebacker, Courtney Upshaw, on a blitz with just a tight end.

Did not work well, leading to a crucial sack.

Then seeing Offensive Buddha, Charlie Weiss, sitting on the bench in 3rd and 4th quarters with his arms folded across his belly and just as mute as any big bellied Buddha statue even with his QB sitting right next to him.

In interviews with the Big Buddha after the game, he said the injury to QB John Brantley destroyed the Gator gameplan.

Charlie, don't you get paid the big bucks to coach, especially during a game when time for adjustments come?

My eyes have seen coaches on sidelines with headphones talking to coaches in press box trying to figure out something--any blasted thing--that works on offense. Pro teams even take pictures of
coverages to coach DURING the game. Does anyone on the Gator staff even have a clipboard and Sharpie to draw up adjustments during a game?

Oh well, gators and this Gator fan have tiny little brains, no fear of humans, and iffen you ain't made boots from our hides, we might get you next time.

Beat GA!