My Mentor, Metaphor the Great

After I staggered, struggled , stumbled 2 blocks S to Lake Eola--with the eviscerating June sunlight stabbing shards of rainbows into my brain--my steps took me to the left where I alighted at the Japanese pagoda at the NE qaudrant and chanced upon my mentor, Metaphor the Great.

A local writer of some renown--columnist for the Sentinel and author of several ironic crime novels set in Orlando environs--sat and considered the world with his somewhat rumpled and rheumy eyes.

Seeing me, he chortled, took a glug from his flask, and greeted me with, "Tommy, do you have anything for me to read yet?"

"Well, not really, just some crazed scribblings."

"Fear not, grasshopper, of such scribblings came Miller's Tropic of Cancer".

So he asked, "Why do you labour so to try to write what you see as truth?"

Insert some of my incoherent grumblings here.

"You only have to look at some physical, factual fact and relate that to anything else to make a point. Close you eyes, breathe deep, open them and tell me the first thing you see."

"That strangler fig to the to our left."

"Hmmm, top branches turning brown, I see a metaphor for the decay of a society that has gotten away from core principles."

"Whose principles? What core?

"Why Judeo-Christian of course."

"So you claim to have become a Christian?" (In my astounded tone.)

"No, just use the phrase, hoping to get my column syndicated. If I really sold out, I'd write of Democrats as spawns of Satan.

"Yeah, that'l get you some coin from Fox. How about that tattooed lady jogger with the nose ring?"

"A sign our younger generation chooses to use their freedom to define themselves and create a new paradigm for these United States, the Phoenix ink on her back a sign great civilizations rise from the ashes of the old."

"Damn, I hate the word "paradigm."

"Pule not on my paradigms, pilgrim, they serve for naught but to model what I see."

"Who can sat what anyone sees?"

"It doesn't matter; nothing matters."

"Maybe everything matters.

"You stole that from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues."

"Couldn't find a Shakespeare line."

"There you have it lad, since we have nothing new under the sun, just steal something good."

With that, Mr. Metaphor heaved himself to his feet, straightened his silk paisley tie and tried to tuck his rumples striped oxford into his Dockers pants, and stepped off in his topsiders towards the Sentinel building.

Governor Great Tan: gay or bisexual?

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_politics/2010/06/charlie-crist-checks-out-floridas-beaches.html

While rumours have swirled for decades of Charlie Crist and his closeted sexuality, it never mattered to me what Governor Flip Flop did sexually and still doesn't even though some "Christians" go nuts at the possibility.

Like Senior Pastor Carl Gallups wrote on the Hickory Hammock Baptist Church in Milton, Fl, who wrote: "[I]t is the RADICAL homosexual agenda that concerns me deeply and concerns me the most. The agenda that seeks to make homosexuality an "alternative" lifestyle, complete with child adoption, marriage rights, insurance and other legal protections and a "special" class of laws of "protection." Of course there is also the matter of "political correctness" and "sensitivity training," especially as it is administered through our government (public) school system. It concerns me deeply, when small children are indoctrinated into the belief that a godless, hedonistic and dangerous lifestyle is a viable "alternative."]

Unholy crap, where should a rational person start in analyzing the above quote (pun intended)?

Perhaps start with adoption by homosexuals in FL where a judge ruled "Based on the evidence presented from experts from all over this country and abroad, it is clear that sexual orientation is not a predictor of a person's ability to parent."
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/05/07/rekers-beliefs-no-consistent-with-the-science-rekers-himself-not-credible

The state of FL presented testimony from a Dr. George Rekers which the judge deemed not credible,"Dr. Rekers' testimony was far from a neutral and un-biased recitation of the relevant scientific evidence. Dr. Rekers' beliefs are motivated by his strong ideo-logical and theological convictions that are not con-sistent with the science. Based on his testimony and demeanor at trial, the court can not consider his tes-timony to be credible nor worthy of forming the basis of public policy."

Seems the good doctor got hoisted on his own petard.

So it mattered not a whit to me of rumours on Crist's sexuality.

Did not matter but pic of Governor No Convictions ogling a female's buttocks sid make me laugh.

Maybe he's bi. He did always seem too well dressed to be completely straight, not that there is anything wrong with that.

One ought look at political policy to ponder upon politicians, not what they do in their private lives.

Blind Melon: "No Rain"

C'mon, buy the damn song. Surely you can spend %0.99. Heck you can download the whole album legally for only $5.00.

I did.

You know you want to. Do it; you'll be glad you did.

y

Blind Melon "No Rain"

Cracker: "Low"

Cracker: "Get Off This"

Cracker: "Teen Angst"

Magic seek a soul

One must seriously question whether the Orlando Magic have a soul, much less a beating heart, because not even a rat, a donkey, whupped dog, or even a proverbial dead horse would accept the kind of beating handed out to them by the Celtics. No spark of life for the first three games. Too little too late.

"From ShoGun to Raygun" from Gil Scott Heron, B Movie

Righteous Politics: Little Steven, "I am a Patriot"

Bruce Cockburn: "If I Had a Rocket Launcher "

"If I Had A Rocket Launcher," by Bruce Cockburn

[Here comes the helicopter -- second time today
Everybody scatters and hopes it goes away
How many kids they've murdered only God can say
If I had a rocket launcher...I'd make somebody pay

I don't believe in guarded borders and I don't believe in hate
I don't believe in generals or their stinking torture states
And when I talk with the survivors of things too sickening to relate
If I had a rocket launcher...I would retaliate

On the Rio Lacantun, one hundred thousand wait
To fall down from starvation -- or some less humane fate
Cry for guatemala, with a corpse in every gate
If I had a rocket launcher...I would not hesitate

I want to raise every voice -- at least I've got to try
Every time I think about it water rises to my eyes.
Situation desperate, echoes of the victims cry
If I had a rocket launcher...Some son of a bitch would die]
(emphasis added)

Clinton Bush Haiti Fund

Please give whatever you can even if the proverbial widow's mite.

Help Haiti, a beautiful land and beautiful people.

Winter Blues

Hey, we have cold here in FL too.

Don't move here.

We got no jobs ("With Florida's unemployment rate stubbornly hovering around 12 percent, it's hard not to get discouraged."}.

No $ ("A chorus of legislators from both parties blasted Gov. Charlie Crist's $69.2 billion budget proposal as an unreliable plan — akin to a family banking on winning the lottery to pay the monthly bills").

With Ponzi sceme housing bubble blowing up got no prospects ("Miami-Dade, the epicenter of the national housing bust. This is the epicenter because the politics all lined up here first, in the rush to convert farmland and open space to suburban sprawl")).

Seriously.

Pic unabashedly stolen from Cogitamus.

Sammie Hagar, "I'll Fall in Love Again:" Less "Bittersweet" Valentine's Day Song

My Valentine's Day card--"Bittersweet" by Hoodoo Gurus

Deep Fried Cheeseburger

From photo gallery of "obscenely caloric foods," in the Orlando Sentnel used without permission under Fair Use Doctrine because of public health concerns.




OMG, great jumpin' Jehosaphat's ghost, why would anyone deep fry a cheeseburger?

While not a food Nazi and eating more fruits and vegetables than ever before because of my gout, I still enjoy a bacon bleu cheese burger from neighborhood pub, Johnny's Fillin' Station. made with 100% USDA grade A beef, not that pre-processed pablum McDonald's uses.

Unholy Crap, literally, the high calorie and high fat "food" foisted upon US and rest of the world will take years off our lives.

McDonald's Chicken nuggets have so many calories and so much fat that an average female would have to have 9.6 hours of vigorous sex to work all that off.

Hmmm, sounds like a great marketing campaign, eat more McDonald's and have more sex. Maybe I could trademark that.

Bite me McDonald's, satire has constitutional protection as free speech.

"My Generation"

The Ting Tings: "That's Not My Name."

The Ting Tings: "That's Not My Name."

"Time Was There Were Things to be Afraid Of."