Showing posts with label Cubs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cubs. Show all posts
Friday, December 9, 2016
Friday, April 29, 2011
After the Magic Lose, I Still Root for the Cubs
Earned Run Average: "is determined by dividing the number of earned runs allowed by the number of innings pitched and multiplying by nine."
So let's do the math. 7 runs given up with only 1 out for the Cubs, 1/3 of an inning. So 7 divided by 1/3 equals 21 and multiplying by 9 innings--which, thanks to all goodness and kindness in the Universe, Dempster did not throw that day--yields us, cubs fans and fellow sufferers, an ERA of one-hundred-eighty-nine' for 9 innings if the slaughter continues.
One-hundred-eighty-freakin'-nine!
[Dempster imploded again in the first inning of the opener of the four-game series, allowing seven runs on four hits, four walks and a hit batter while retiring only one of the 10 hitters he faced. It was the shortest start of Dempster's career. He lasted two-thirds of an inning while starting for the Marlins against the Braves on Oct. 5, 2001.]
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/ct-spt-0429-cubs-diamondbacks-chicago20110428,0,5676089.story
So let's do the math. 7 runs given up with only 1 out for the Cubs, 1/3 of an inning. So 7 divided by 1/3 equals 21 and multiplying by 9 innings--which, thanks to all goodness and kindness in the Universe, Dempster did not throw that day--yields us, cubs fans and fellow sufferers, an ERA of one-hundred-eighty-nine' for 9 innings if the slaughter continues.
One-hundred-eighty-freakin'-nine!
[Dempster imploded again in the first inning of the opener of the four-game series, allowing seven runs on four hits, four walks and a hit batter while retiring only one of the 10 hitters he faced. It was the shortest start of Dempster's career. He lasted two-thirds of an inning while starting for the Marlins against the Braves on Oct. 5, 2001.]
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/ct-spt-0429-cubs-diamondbacks-chicago20110428,0,5676089.story
Monday, January 24, 2011
I (Almost) Quit the Cubs
[...I'm quitting sports. It's a matter of self preservation.
An anecdote: At 10:00 pm EST last night, I called on the phone my younger brother Reece, 15. Upon answering, he immediately asked, "Why did you do this to me?"
The phone call took place shortly after the New York Jets fell heartbreakingly short in the AFC Championship Game. My brother was begging to know why I had made molded him into a Jets fan, why I had influenced him from an early age to have such a fervent passion for an often hapless football team. Why had I inflicted such suffering on him?
...I had created an addict, in my own image. And once again, with a Ben Roethelisberger first down pass, our hearts had been broken, our spirits crushed.
Why do we do this? What sense of joy, beyond fleeting adrenaline rushes, does it bring us? Nightly, six months out of the year, I tune into my New York Mets...
The sum total of what I received in exchange: a soul-destroying loss in the National League Championship Series...
Of course, that loss of self and love was followed by two summers of crushing late season collapses, and two subsequent seasons of misery, so the baseball injuries have only gotten worse.
Johann Santana, the Mets' best pitcher, had surgery on his elbow last year. I check in on his status more than I do my own. And I'm a heart patient.]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jordan-zakarin/i-quit-a-jets-fans-lament_b_813109.html
An anecdote: At 10:00 pm EST last night, I called on the phone my younger brother Reece, 15. Upon answering, he immediately asked, "Why did you do this to me?"
The phone call took place shortly after the New York Jets fell heartbreakingly short in the AFC Championship Game. My brother was begging to know why I had made molded him into a Jets fan, why I had influenced him from an early age to have such a fervent passion for an often hapless football team. Why had I inflicted such suffering on him?
...I had created an addict, in my own image. And once again, with a Ben Roethelisberger first down pass, our hearts had been broken, our spirits crushed.
Why do we do this? What sense of joy, beyond fleeting adrenaline rushes, does it bring us? Nightly, six months out of the year, I tune into my New York Mets...
The sum total of what I received in exchange: a soul-destroying loss in the National League Championship Series...
Of course, that loss of self and love was followed by two summers of crushing late season collapses, and two subsequent seasons of misery, so the baseball injuries have only gotten worse.
Johann Santana, the Mets' best pitcher, had surgery on his elbow last year. I check in on his status more than I do my own. And I'm a heart patient.]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jordan-zakarin/i-quit-a-jets-fans-lament_b_813109.html
Monday, October 18, 2010
Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend: Cutting up the old debit card
Sorry, BOA Visa debit card.
Don't blame yourself.
Blame me.
When we first started going together, we knew our relationship had an expiration date: Feb 2012 stamped right on your face.
So, we had great times but both knew it couldn't last. Yet you stayed with me longer and saved me more $ than my ex wife. Through the thick and thin crust pizza deliveries--some even with a 6 pack of that exalted malted beverage, beer from Broadway Pizza--we got along so well together that i even memorized your 16 digits whereas only ever figured out three of my wife's personalities, even memorized the secret spot on your back, the three digit security code.
You know I treasured you, refusing to share you with just any web site that came along, not even--especially--porn, just Amazon for books and music.
Remember Kaufrmann's Critique of Religion and Philosophy
we sent to the Publix cashier, a freshman at UCF where my niece just got accepted, both ladies with all the beauty and bravery human race needs to survive and thrive, the Hendrix Band Of Gypsys (Live)
mp3 download?
Good times.
Yes, another card came into my life.
An email from 1 of the myriad of email newsletters suscribed to to give some semblance of connection to the rest of the human race rather than just annoying female cashiers had an offer for another BOA card featuring the Chicago Cubs logo.
Yes, a MasterCard but still of our bank.
HEY, ANY TEAM CAN HAVE A BAD TWO CENTURIES!!!
Whaddya YOU?
A frakkin' Yankees fan?
Go on, then. Good riddance; gonna go on without you.. Have gone on and learned the new PIN #...
...but will still remember the good times. If you find any great debauchery, call me.
[So if this marks the only tragedy in my life this month or year, 'tain't too damn bad.
Peace]
Don't blame yourself.
Blame me.
When we first started going together, we knew our relationship had an expiration date: Feb 2012 stamped right on your face.
So, we had great times but both knew it couldn't last. Yet you stayed with me longer and saved me more $ than my ex wife. Through the thick and thin crust pizza deliveries--some even with a 6 pack of that exalted malted beverage, beer from Broadway Pizza--we got along so well together that i even memorized your 16 digits whereas only ever figured out three of my wife's personalities, even memorized the secret spot on your back, the three digit security code.
You know I treasured you, refusing to share you with just any web site that came along, not even--especially--porn, just Amazon for books and music.
Remember Kaufrmann's Critique of Religion and Philosophy
we sent to the Publix cashier, a freshman at UCF where my niece just got accepted, both ladies with all the beauty and bravery human race needs to survive and thrive, the Hendrix Band Of Gypsys (Live) mp3 download?Good times.
Yes, another card came into my life.
An email from 1 of the myriad of email newsletters suscribed to to give some semblance of connection to the rest of the human race rather than just annoying female cashiers had an offer for another BOA card featuring the Chicago Cubs logo.
Yes, a MasterCard but still of our bank.
HEY, ANY TEAM CAN HAVE A BAD TWO CENTURIES!!!
Whaddya YOU?
A frakkin' Yankees fan?
Go on, then. Good riddance; gonna go on without you.. Have gone on and learned the new PIN #...
...but will still remember the good times. If you find any great debauchery, call me.
[So if this marks the only tragedy in my life this month or year, 'tain't too damn bad.
Peace]
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Alleged Terrorist Really Disgruntled Cubs Fan, Tries to Plant Bomb at Wrigley
Golly gee willikers, I thought I was a disgruntled Cubs fan, maybe due to genetic defect 'cause Pops and Gran' Pops both carried Cubs fan mutant gene..
[The reason I bring this up is because we live in a terrorist-infested world and because early Sunday morning a 22-year-old Lebanese immigrant and legal permanent U.S. resident named Sami Samir Hassoun was arrested near Wrigley Field after planting what he thought was a bomb outside Sluggers sports bar at 3540 N. Clark St.
Hassoun, according to undercover federal law- enforcement agents who had been working with him for months, claimed not to be a religious extremist, but a man who wanted to create chaos and gain political control of Chicago. How he would do that by killing, as he reportedly told agents, ''all [the] young people, [the] hippest people,'' nobody knows. Not even Hassoun.]
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/telander/2735088,CST-SPT-rick22.article
[The reason I bring this up is because we live in a terrorist-infested world and because early Sunday morning a 22-year-old Lebanese immigrant and legal permanent U.S. resident named Sami Samir Hassoun was arrested near Wrigley Field after planting what he thought was a bomb outside Sluggers sports bar at 3540 N. Clark St.
Hassoun, according to undercover federal law- enforcement agents who had been working with him for months, claimed not to be a religious extremist, but a man who wanted to create chaos and gain political control of Chicago. How he would do that by killing, as he reportedly told agents, ''all [the] young people, [the] hippest people,'' nobody knows. Not even Hassoun.]
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/telander/2735088,CST-SPT-rick22.article
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Cubs "Fans" as Jews of Sports World
Having once again had the vile and baseless assertion of my being a Cubs fan thrown in my face by the inestimable Mr. Field Negro --a freakin' Phillies fan for Farook's sake--I must once again don my proud visage and sad armor of denial and write, "Wait 'til next year."
No living human being with a shred of sanity can root for a team that loses for 200 years. The only folk with longer losings streaks: Jews and the Irish.
As for the latter, they perhaps posit another 500 years will drive the English from the land of Eire but do so without hope other than in their cups.
The former still await their Messiah without any reason save those given in their Testament and Talmud.
Cubs fans have no such illusions, holy books, nor any shred of hope, rational or religious.
We have an incurable disease, hereditary and probably regressive since my "Cubs" gene comes from my maternal grandfather and father.
We suffer ignominious defeat season after season, year upon year, decade after damned decade.
How long, O LORD, will I call for a pennant,
And You will not hear?
I cry out to You, “Go Cubbies!”
Yet You do not notch a save.
So Field, if you call me a Cubs fan in print again, I will fall upon you like the Righteous Wrath of the Lord with the mighty name of Royko, with a million lawyer minions, injunctions, imprecations and curses on your manhood.
Have a nice day.
No living human being with a shred of sanity can root for a team that loses for 200 years. The only folk with longer losings streaks: Jews and the Irish.
As for the latter, they perhaps posit another 500 years will drive the English from the land of Eire but do so without hope other than in their cups.
The former still await their Messiah without any reason save those given in their Testament and Talmud.
Cubs fans have no such illusions, holy books, nor any shred of hope, rational or religious.
We have an incurable disease, hereditary and probably regressive since my "Cubs" gene comes from my maternal grandfather and father.
We suffer ignominious defeat season after season, year upon year, decade after damned decade.
How long, O LORD, will I call for a pennant,
And You will not hear?
I cry out to You, “Go Cubbies!”
Yet You do not notch a save.
So Field, if you call me a Cubs fan in print again, I will fall upon you like the Righteous Wrath of the Lord with the mighty name of Royko, with a million lawyer minions, injunctions, imprecations and curses on your manhood.
Have a nice day.
Cubs Carnage Continues: Gave up 11 Straight Hits in 8th Inning
[...it never happened in the majors until it happened to the Cubs in the eighth inning Friday night {30 July} in Colorado.
That's when the Rockies made history by turning a three-run game into a 17-2 blowout.
``You don't expect an inning like that in the big leagues - anywhere,'' said Cubs manager Lou Piniella after the Rockies scored 12 times with two outs in the eighth.
``That was crazy. I don't think anything like that will ever happen again,'' said Sean Marshall, the Cubs' best reliever all season, who had two strikes on Carlos Gonzalez with two out and two on when the craziness began.] http://blogs.suntimes.com/cubs/2010/07/cubs_make_malodorous_history_i.html
Just when you think they have no depths of suckatudeleft to plumb, they find new bottomless pits of bad baseball.
[After Ryan Dempster's four-inning outing, the Rockies poured it on in a 12-run, 13-hit eighth inning against Sean Marshall, Andrew Cashner and Brian Schlitter. Colorado set a major league record with 11 straight hits, including six straight off Cashner, who served up two home runs.]
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/ct-spt-0731-brite-cubs-rockies-chicag20100730,0,910328.story
6 straight hits including 2 dingers, for Abner Doubleday's sainted sake.
Sheesh
That's when the Rockies made history by turning a three-run game into a 17-2 blowout.
``You don't expect an inning like that in the big leagues - anywhere,'' said Cubs manager Lou Piniella after the Rockies scored 12 times with two outs in the eighth.
``That was crazy. I don't think anything like that will ever happen again,'' said Sean Marshall, the Cubs' best reliever all season, who had two strikes on Carlos Gonzalez with two out and two on when the craziness began.] http://blogs.suntimes.com/cubs/2010/07/cubs_make_malodorous_history_i.html
Just when you think they have no depths of suckatudeleft to plumb, they find new bottomless pits of bad baseball.
[After Ryan Dempster's four-inning outing, the Rockies poured it on in a 12-run, 13-hit eighth inning against Sean Marshall, Andrew Cashner and Brian Schlitter. Colorado set a major league record with 11 straight hits, including six straight off Cashner, who served up two home runs.]
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/ct-spt-0731-brite-cubs-rockies-chicag20100730,0,910328.story
6 straight hits including 2 dingers, for Abner Doubleday's sainted sake.
Sheesh
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Wrigley Field, Graveyard of Hope
With all due respect to people of all religions and faiths, Cubs fans have become the Jews of the sporting world: always waiting for the Messiah to take us to the promised land but knowing the savior will not come in our lifetime.
So does remaining a Cubs fan come from masochism, insanity, or delusional dreams?
Maybe becoming a Cubs fan comes from my genes as my pops grew up in LA and became a fan because Cubs had a minor league team there back in his day.
Whatever, if I wanted to root for a winner, I'd become a Yankees fan. Nevetheless, I could no more do so than command the sun to rise in the West.
"I Yam what I yam," as the immortal philosopher Popeye says.
Yet hope springs eternal as faith lies "in believing in things yet unseen."
Ah, spring when even the Cubs have a chance at a title. But then summer comes and dreams die in dog days of summer.
Nevertheless, human beings have bought the team rather the old corporate and essentially faceless Tribune Company. Any human Cubs fan has got to feel embarassment--nay rage, disbelief, desire to find torches And pitch forks and march on Wrigley--after a loss like on 3 July when the Cubs lost after giving up nine runs on 3 hits in the seventh inning.
Nine runs on 3 hits in the seventh inning.
Oh please God, make the pain stop
But "There ain't no rest for the wicked until we close our eyes for good."
So does remaining a Cubs fan come from masochism, insanity, or delusional dreams?
Maybe becoming a Cubs fan comes from my genes as my pops grew up in LA and became a fan because Cubs had a minor league team there back in his day.
Whatever, if I wanted to root for a winner, I'd become a Yankees fan. Nevetheless, I could no more do so than command the sun to rise in the West.
"I Yam what I yam," as the immortal philosopher Popeye says.
Yet hope springs eternal as faith lies "in believing in things yet unseen."
Ah, spring when even the Cubs have a chance at a title. But then summer comes and dreams die in dog days of summer.
Nevertheless, human beings have bought the team rather the old corporate and essentially faceless Tribune Company. Any human Cubs fan has got to feel embarassment--nay rage, disbelief, desire to find torches And pitch forks and march on Wrigley--after a loss like on 3 July when the Cubs lost after giving up nine runs on 3 hits in the seventh inning.
Nine runs on 3 hits in the seventh inning.
Oh please God, make the pain stop
But "There ain't no rest for the wicked until we close our eyes for good."
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