Wednesday, November 13, 2013

My Role in Rape Culture

Although never having forced my self on a woman, my nieces off in college at THE University of FL and recent tragic events in US high schools have made me re-evaluate my entire life.

As the diarist at Daily Kos refllected, my life at times had me silent when teammates and male friends spoke derogatively about females and people  attracted to others of their same sex.

I participated in conversations objectifying females and spoke of them as merely objects for sexual conquest, and that was wrong.  Even though for the life of me never perceived of those conversations condoning rape and rape culture, they dd, and it was wrong.

Sadly having now realized that and perhps now consigned to a wheelchair and maybe never to return to my local, I'll never get to make amends--and never get to give a birthday present book to and rejected again by Deidre, my favorite and amazingly literate bartender.  Serves me right to suffer

Oh heck, that reads depressing.  Let me make myself feel better bagging on bumpkin Old Testament Christians condmning Ho-Mo-SEX-uals and sodomy and other stuff.  Methinks they doth protest too much!

They invent figments of their own imagination when they decry the "homosexual agenda."  Most differently gendered people I've known just try to make it through life without getting their asses beat while looking for love--except for the lesbian block layers I saw who cleaned the clocks of some 7-11 cowboys at Nancy's Guys and Dolls in Orlando.

'Ceptin; for them, most homosexuals plan on driving from Orlando straight through to Tampa because people way less tolerant in counties on the way.

Progressive folk realize we ought not to judge those who look for love from not the opposite sex, even accept the transgenderd and all different permutations thereof.  Can't for the life of me understand it 'cause just ain;t wired that way.

Without further ado, please forgive me for shamelessly cutting and pasting words which made me think and challenged me:

[Let me first say that I am implicated in the rape culture not only in Maryville Missouri, where I played football and grew up, but also that which prevails across our country.  And I owe an apology to girls like Daisy Coleman who have been victims of sexual violence, as well as other who have been bullied or otherwise abused.
Because I was there - literally - in that locker room.  Not during Daisy's time, but years earlier.  And when people called you a skank, or a fag, or said they'd "bone" you or kick your ass, I didn't join in.  But I didn't speak up, either.  For my own reasons of fear and insecurity, I didn't speak up when I could have.  I didn't just put a foot forward in that room and say something even so simple as "hey guys.. come on! I don't really want to hear that stuff." and I could have. I am very sorry that I didn't do more, because clearly the culture didn't change - hasn't changed.  If it had, we wouldn't be having to read about stories like this....
And I really should have taken more of that to heart when I had the opportunity to hold my peers to that standard of accountability.  It's a responsibility guys have as teammates, school peers, brothers, parents, teachers, etc etc.  It's a responsibility I had - to lead - and allowed fear to get the best of me.  And, like I said, I really should have known better, because the above statement was written by my father, who taught me more than enough about respecting and standing up for all people - women and men, popular and unpopular, etc.
So, if you look at the Maryville rape case and are so angry that you want to blame someone for what went wrong - you can start with me  - DKOS UID 5593.  Because I didn't speak out when I should have. Please accept my apologies.]  emphasis added

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