Monday, June 29, 2015

Antonin "Fat Tony" Scalia Insults You

Follow this link to Slate to generate your very own insult from Antonin "Fat Tony" Scalia, alleged US Supreme Court Justice.

Ironic how worked up he gets over ScotusCare passed by judicial elites but Citizens United bothered him not a whit.

Dan Hill's: “One would think that Dan Hill's views are diseased. Ask the nearest hippie.”

Confederate Flags on Parade

"The Civil War ended in 1865. The Confederate battle flag should have been retired then."

Red Neck Parade (Language warning, especially the famous 12 letter word that begins with "m" and ends with "r.")

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Ringling Brothers - Republican Presidential Race 2016

Rumour has it Comedians took up a collection to entice Donald Trump--Republican clown emeritus and walking punchline--into the 2016 Presidential fray for fodder their acts.

Plus, Romney might run again, giving us an opportunity to recycle all our Mitt jokes and thus maintain a small comedy/carbon foot print.

"I Can't Explain" Simple Stuff to Simpletons


And frankly, it pains me to explain the obvious.  Hell, we watch freezing Alaska melt, polar bears bereft of polar ice, and California drought, and some still refuse to believe their eyes and see something dire happening to our

[(The Borowitz Report)—Many Americans are tired of explaining things to idiots, particularly when the things in question are so painfully obvious, a new poll indicates.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, while millions have been vexed for some time by their failure to explain incredibly basic information to dolts, that frustration has now reached a breaking point.

Of the many obvious things that people are sick and tired of trying to get through the skulls of stupid people, the fact that climate change will cause catastrophic habitat destruction and devastating extinctions tops the list, with a majority saying that they will no longer bother trying to explain this to cretins.

Coming in a close second, statistical proof that gun control has reduced gun deaths in countries around the world is something that a significant number of those polled have given up attempting to break down for morons.]

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Stupid Crook News: Assault with your chicken and biscuits?

Just when my brain 'bout breaks under weight of daily blues screamed at me by nightly news, something ironically catches my eye, showing some folks even more messed up than me.  Sure, i have anger and abandonment issues but paralysis and getting set adrift by family does cause that.  So this story about a drunk red neck chick provided bit of amusement.

Wonder if chicken and biscuits came from KFC or Hardee's?

[Authorities said Kristin Howard, 31, was arrested Friday.

The Flagler County Sheriff's Office was called to a mobile home park in Bunnell around 11:30 p.m. Deputies said Howard's mother, Kimberly Miller, accused her of coming home intoxicated and angry, and then making a plate of chicken and biscuits.

Authorities said Miller and Howard argued over who owned the food and Howard punched her mother in the face and threw tea on her.

Court records show this is Howard's sixth battery arrest since February 2008.] emphasis added 'cause i've had no arrests over same time period.

No Really, It's a Thing, a small thing for sure but a thing nevertheless

The Third Annual Smallest Penis Contest in Brooklyn, NYC.

Rumour has it Donald Trump will enter next year because you just know his incessant bragging and tall erect towers compensates for failing to measure up in other respects, like taking a dagger to a sword fight.

Update: Dylann Roof obviously compensating for "short" comings

Dylann Roof compensating for lack of "endowment"

Dang, better quit now but could keep it up all night making shortchanged small penis jokes.  Look at the troll; never got any sun living in his mom's basement pallor sitting there with pansies in front of him, substituting large caliber hand gun for his phallic deficencies.

Hope he rots in jail but gets to see in the news how his horror helped take down the treasonous flags from displays in the South.

Suck on that irony, bitch boy.  Rebellion not going as ya hoped, Dylann?

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Present Perfect Trailer

An Emotional Jon Stewart Drops the Comedy to Talk Charleston: ‘We Still ...

The Real Reason Behind Charleston Massare: A horrible haircut

My working through horrible tragedy process uses bad humour; forgive me.

Nevertheless as the first wanted pictures showed, the assailant had a bowl cut Beatles mop atop his head.  He might as well have published his address on the wanted posters; he might as well have had "Kick Me" tattooed on his forehead.  Such an atrocity could only have come from a deep sense of self loathing; he knew himself as a loser and compensated by desecrating his head.

Did dear Dylann not know a "skinhead" came with the costume of racist on Halloween?  How did this worthless faggot fuck not know?

(Please also forgive use of the term fag as a pejorative. for use refers not to sexual orientation--one should have the right and freedom to live and love and marry and build and maintain a relationship of choice--but just because I have run out of words with which to vilify this vermin.)

From other pictures of this pasty faced skinny white boy, it seems screamingly obvious he compensated for his shortcomings by giving himself a Nancy boy haircut to maximize ridicule applied to himself.  And his dad gave him the gun used in his murderous assault.  What an idiot, having a gun does not make a boy become a man.  Taking responsibility for one's actions makes one a man.

This pipsqueak pencil neck geek thought to evade responsibility for his acts by fleeing.  If only death by electric chair would come back so authorities would shave off that carefully coiffed mop.

Lastly and certainly the least, hopefully this odious excuse for a human could enter next year the fourth annual Brooklyn Smallest Penis Contest.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Uncle Neil Rocks Trumps World

When Donald Trump strode on to the stage at Trump Tower on Tuesday to announce that he would enter the Republican race for president, a rock and roll anthem blared: Neil Young’s "Rockin’ in the Free World." It was an odd choice, given that the 1989 song seemed to slam a Republican administration for not giving a damn about the poor. And Young has taken exception to Trump's appropriation of his tune.

A statement issued to Mother Jones for Young by his longtime manager Elliot Roberts suggests Young was not pleased by Trump's use of the song:

Donald Trump's use of "Rockin' in the Free World" was not authorized. Mr. Young is a longtime supporter of Bernie Sanders.

In other words, it may be a free world, but you're not free to steal my song.

One of "news" segments I saw seemed to suggest that, since only RepubliKKKans found trouble from misappropriating songs for campaigns, that stemmed from lberal bent of most artists.

Au contraire, mon frere, that comes from Repugnants stealing property of others, as though their money made it OK, much less the R's lack of ethics and morality and rape the planet attitude, damn their eyes, "a thousand points of light for the homeless man," indeed.

Salon covers other outright thefts of songs, and the Dropkick Murphys literally hate Scott Walker, fuhrher of Wisconsin.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Mitt Romney's Presidential Prom While John Ellis Bush Tells Polish Jokes in Poland

So Mittens couldn't get elected, but he sure could introduce candidates to millionaires, billionaires, and gazillionaires, all the "major" contestants save for John Ellis Bush! busy flubbing his lines in Poland, meeting with a Polish politician who called we Americans losers and then stating it worthless to have a relation with us, the US of :
[Radislaw] Sikorski was caught up with several other Polish government ministers in what has become known as “waitergate,” a scandal where private conversations were secretly recorded over $500 meals at one of Warsaw’s fanciest restaurants. Sikorski, for his part, was caught complaining that Poland’s relationship with the United States was “bullshit” and “worthless” before dropping his most famous observation. “We’ll get into a conflict with the Russians and the Germans, and we’ll think that everything is super because we gave the Americans a blow job,” he said. “Losers. Complete losers.” 
When asked about whether it was a good idea to still take a meeting with Sikorski, the Bush team stressed that the event had been arranged long ago. A good follow-up question, however, might have been “How long ago?” For, while the now ex-minister, ex-speaker only stepped aside the day before JEB! met him, the revelations of diplomatic oral sex are now over a year old.... 
Speaking in Berlin (before he even made it to Poland), Bush ad-libbed an assessment of Russia under Vladimir Putin. Jeb called Putin a “ruthless pragmatist” (which seemed like an attempt to split the difference between praising and criticizing the Russian leader ... because there actually is some tension in the GOP on this front) before saying NATO needs to push back, but not push too much because “ultimately Russia needs to be a European nation.” 
“Everything we do,” Bush added, “ought to be to isolate [Russia’s] corrupt leadership from its people.” 
“I think it was one of the most inane things that a candidate could run for,” observed Steve Clemons, Washington editor at large for The Atlantic, on MSNBC’s “The Last Word,” noting — correctly — “the Russian people feel enormous support for Vladimir Putin.” Clemons likened the remarks to telling Texans they are ultimately part of New England.  (emphasis added)
Meanwhile back in America with the "losers," Mario "Crazy Legs" Rubio donned a pair of shorts showing off his legs, and played football--offense only--and cravenly sought cash:
It’s getting to the point where one can’t help but wonder if the reason all these Republican candidates for president are having trouble breaking away from the pack might simply be attributed to the fact that they spend so much time attending donor “summits” that they don’t have time to appeal to actual voters. Yes, most of the passengers on the GOP magic bus made yet another pilgrimage this past week-end to yet another gathering of millionaires and billionaires, this one hosted by the would-be King and wannabe Kingmaker, Mitt Romney.... 
According to one report, he “played offense the whole time, to show off his arm and avoid humiliating any millionaire campaign contributors with tough defense.”

One suspects they will all avoid talking to real voters as long as possible, since they have no new ideas, just blind faith in St. Raygunz, Ronnie Reagan Sr as you know him.  This as JEB! stumbles over his words; he wouldn't know a fact if it bit him in the ass.

Chris Christie will take a back seat to no one in pandering and sucking up to rich folk.  Don't like his stance on immigration?  He'll happily change his mind to suit yours.  Lindsey Graham who never found a war he wouldn't fight with your children's blood, attended Mitten's soiree, as did Marco "Crazy Legs" Rubio, he'll do what Obama has done, only sterner, a man who rode JEB!'s coattails in FL and never had an idea of his own.  If Johnny Ellis wants to fart, he'll have to ask Marco to move his nose first.

Of JEB!, 2008 Nobel prize winning economist Paul Krugman wrote, "So Jeb! is basically promising that as president, he can generate Florida-style bubbles, which bring disaster when they burst, to the rest of America!"

Forget American history, John Ellis doesn't even know his own family history, glaringly displayed when he gave his sycophant suk up shadow a golden sword; hope it had no sharp edges cause morons shouldn't have sharp swords.

Marco "Crazy Legs" Rubio

Scientists Isolate Failure Gene

[MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Geneticists at the University of Minnesota believe that they have isolated the gene that makes some people much more prone to failure than others.

While the research is preliminary, the scientists said that they were able to successfully identify the failure gene by studying the DNA of males in two generations of the same American family....

According to Logsdon, those who carry the gene for failure have “absolutely no idea that they have it” and thus project the confidence and self-assurance of people whose genetic material does not make them likely to wreak havoc on a massive scale.]  emphasis added

Family Failures


Sunday, June 14, 2015

Heart Warming Story of the Year: Boys do a good deed.

[Riesel, TX — 
An act of kindness by four young brothers in Riesel, Texas, may have kept an elderlly woman from having to go to jail.

According to KWTX, a warrant was issued for Gerry Suttle, 75, after she allegedly failed to appear in court after being cited because her grass was too tall. Suttle said she didn't receive the notice.

After KWTX reported Suttle's story Tuesday, four boys decided to save the day.

"We haven't met her yet, but she's 75 years old and she needs some help mowing," said Blaine Reynolds, who, along with his three brothers, came out to mow Suttle's lawn. "That's the least we could do."

"I really wouldn't want her coming out here and doing it – or paying someone else to – when we could have just done it for free," added Brandon Reynolds.]

"What Liberal Media?"

Find it almost hysterically funny for Fox news and their ilk to rail against the so-called liberal media; on a fundamental, existential level the media, which after all must pay the bills and provide enough remuneration for writers to live on oatmeal and Tang, must hew close to a mainstream view or else risk starvation., thus the Media drumbeat for war in the run up to the Viet Nam imbroglio--oops, meant Iraq but momentarily overcome by deja vu.

So, discerning news consumers must look far afield for heterodox views to challenge the prevailing orthodoxy: the great Orange Satan of Daily Kos which challenges everything, the Stay at Home Feminist Mom who challenges the patriarchy,  and the Field Negro who roots out racism and challenges all Americans to look in the mirror.

If we really had a liberal media, we might read stories about how tax cuts primarily benefit the wealthy:
A progressive tax program is designed to tax people very little as they are starting out and progressively increase their rates as they do better. 
Republican plans seem designed to do exactly the opposite: shift the tax burden off of the wealthy and onto working people.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Gandalf and Dumbledore Sitting in a Tree--Spelling Equality

Some of my close personal acquaintances who shall remain unnamed--Ron Roby--practically have a brain aneurysm over the idea of gay marriage.

Having attended too many solemn and stodgy weddings, hope some gaiety would happen regularly at weddings.  Then people need to discern the difference between marriage as recognized by the government and that found in the Bible.  The first has society legally recognizing a union of 2 people and which confers benefits such as tax filings, end of life decisions and such.  (Of course, some wags say marriage itself amounts to an end of life decision.)  Thus, conferring those benefits on same sex couples spelling Equality and so provides equal protection under the law as required under the US Constitution.

As for biblical marriage, that bearded, angry old white man who watches Fox News in heaven hates homosexuals and decries marriage of same sex couples, but he does have the perfect ensemble for a gay wedding, a heavenly purple tuxedo with matching purple bow tie and ruffled shirt, guess even He likes Prince.  Also, He thinks the Westboro Baptist "Church" all kinds of batshit crazy.

Perhaps the only time I ever agreed with Fox:

Your Favorite Cannibal and Mine: Hannibal

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Public Service Announcement: Watch out for thunder

Every year, someone gets hit by lightning on the beach in Florida under clear skies.

Invariably, news stories that follow mention these strikes occur under clear skies, albeit with storm clouds a few miles the distance.  You need to.get to shelterwhen you see storm clouds because:


Please heed this warning if you live in or visit Florida as none of us want to read more stories like this; "Georgia boy, 11, struck by lightning....

Witnesses told Channel 9's Blaine Tolison that skies appeared clear when the lightning struck. They said storms looked like they were several miles away."  emphasis added

Elizabeth Warren Kicks Ass and Takes Names

Monday, June 8, 2015

Honey Boo Boo: WHY GOD WHY?

Even though mywhole life revolves around television shows. somehow i managed to avoid watching anything about or with Honey Boo Boo, a bountiful, buxom, baby beauty queen, with just too much of the honey sticking on Boo Boo's body; some descrptions called her obese.

"Charitably called obese," could charirably get used 'cause the girl fat: F-A-T-fat.

Except now Mama June herself works out with a personal trainer and has lifestyle advice for us all: juicing, especially juices made by her trainer, who presumably eludes the elixir by doing zumba in a tub with fruitsand vegetables, capturing consequent concoction.

Just.  Kill.  Me.  Now.

Mama June amounts to the last person on earth to take diet advice from.

There loomsa great image: MamaJune stuffed into spandex stompingon vegetables in unison with Richard Simmons.

And the Earth shudders as it turns.  Diet advice from a woman with 3 chins ansa VW Bug under her belt.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Now for something completely different: A competing view on Dr. Who

Since 7 nursing homes whose hospitality have had the opportunity to enjoy all failed to carry BBC and thus have had no Dr.Who to enjoy.  ("It's a fez; I wear fezzes now.")  I still yearn to see the new Who, indeed any Who, even Horton's Who.  Heck, I'll even settle for Cristopher Ecclestone's Who, or even the new Who, Peter Capaldi.

Anyhoo, guess, I'll have to jump on youtube Who train.

The first Doctor:

"That was bantering.  I'm totally against bantering."

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Grateful Dead Archive Online

Oh sweet mother of irony, found fan tape of this show in Charlotte, NC, in 1979, seen after taking seats on frat bus from Wake Forest Univ, along with my ex girlfriend, Wendy Hall, a girl from the North Country who attended Salem College, an all girls school in Winston-Salem, NC, probably the last time I saw her since my University as well as civic authorities, having taken a dim view of a gin fueled vandalism spree on my part, busied themselves running me out of town on a rail.

Fun times.

Ironic because my girl and me would be among the seemingly few people at the Charlotte Coliseum not tripping on LSD.  Actually, we stayed relatively sober since I'd have to deliver her safely back to her dorm downtown, about a half hour away from Wake.

Too tongue tied to talk, let the  love of my life walk.  Then exactly a year later on 3 May 1980 broke my neck on the beach wrestling with a rugby mate.  Unlucky much?

Now almost 40years later,we do have "fan tapes" to rellive some memories.