Sunday, August 1, 2010

Cubs "Fans" as Jews of Sports World

Having once again had the vile and baseless assertion of my being a Cubs fan thrown in my face by the inestimable Mr. Field Negro --a freakin' Phillies fan for Farook's sake--I must once again don my proud visage and sad armor of denial and write, "Wait 'til next year."

No living human being with a shred of sanity can root for a team that loses for 200 years.  The only folk with longer losings streaks: Jews and the Irish.

As for the latter, they perhaps posit another 500 years will drive the English from the land of Eire but do so without hope other than in their cups.

The former still await their Messiah without any reason save those given in their Testament and Talmud.

Cubs fans have no such illusions, holy books, nor any shred of hope, rational or religious.

We have an incurable disease, hereditary and probably regressive since my "Cubs" gene comes from my maternal grandfather and father.

We suffer ignominious defeat season after season, year upon year, decade after damned decade.

How long, O LORD, will I call for a pennant,
         And You will not hear?
         I cry out to You, “Go Cubbies!”
         Yet You do not notch a save.

So Field, if you call me a Cubs fan in print again, I will fall upon you like the Righteous Wrath of the Lord with the mighty name of Royko, with a million lawyer minions, injunctions, imprecations and curses on your manhood.




Have a nice day.

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