"Have a pint"

"When things go wrong and will not come right
Though you do the best you can
When life looks as black as the hour of night,
A pint of plain is your only man."
Flann O'Brien, from Bryce Evan: Ireland During the Second World War: Farewell to Plato's cave, found at Irish Central

Unpsalm 23

Walking through life, I fear every evil, even fear good as well as bad, for no one is with me. Taking all the ills life provides, nothing comforts me.

My enemies steal bread off my table.

My brow wrinkles under weight of troubles; my cup overflows with bitter wine.

Regrets and recriminations follow me unto the grave, and in loneliness shall I dwell.

Poetry, Allegedly

With dancers' legs
and eyes that smiled
banished my troubles
for a while.

Must get out my door more
Meeting people all outside
my comfortable couch zone
humans who touch my core

Lance Gets Lanced

60-34, Miami Heat leading Pacers at halftime; guess the kids from corn country shoulda kept their traps shut.

Sure, I love trash talking more than the average fan; hell, having based my whole on my big mouth with absolutely nuthin' to back it up, I kinda loved Lance Stephonson blowing in LeBron's ear e'en though it creeped me out.

Yet then to come out and play like already on vacay (vacation, for all y'all uncool cats) really irks me to no end.

Sure, knew going in Chris Bosh would push Roy Hibbert outa the paint, soft and softer, maybe even softest. But childish schoolyard antics count for naught when lacking basic basketball sense. On a pick and rolll, you still have to guardthe guy who sets the pick.

F or Naissmih's sake, the Heat play fairly straight, aggressive defense, overplaying the passing lanes and getting points off turnovers. So opposing teams should take care of the ball and use most of the shot clock.

"Take care of the ball," a platitude it pains me to employ but....dammit, another turnover so tuning to some NBC show 'bout Blackbeard. Hmmm, dialog well written and artful period prose. Me like.!!!!

Geez, Heat up by 32 and David West fouls out, no more turning back to the game ' cause doing so without a remote proves painful.

Could my life get any worse?

Heat 3peat, Friday night crappy night for teevee, and remote broke andc late night tak showsi in reruns so might have to watch Fallon as have seen Letterman episode.

Wonder who Kimmel has on?

Go Thunder or Spurs. San Antonio barely lost in game 6 when they could have clinched the seris.

Would love to see San Antone just to see more coach Popovich interview; he does not suffer fools gladly.

More Truth

(Damn youse, blogger, my tablet, my whole stinking wheelchair life.)

Even I, SuperCripple, fear beautiful women, have to take a deep breath and remember words of my ole ball coach, they put their pants on 1 leg at a time, when they wear pants that is rather than skirts.

See females as human, with hopes, dreams, fears, foibles,and if lives intersect foru a moment, anight, a bad marriage, or a life partner, count it as partof the journey. Don't face it with handcuffs, at least not for a first date.

Search for intimacy, not sex, see and experience women as fellow humans rather than owners of a vagina you want.

Laugh, Love, Live! It's all we can do.

Own your life; don't blame others.

More Truth

Damn blogger on a stick; doesn't play nice w/ my tablet.

Elliot Rodger posted on PUAHATE.com, a site where gulliblle fools lamented wasting $ on sites purporting how to get girls, a different hottie every time, how to get "game," as taught by Pick Up Artists.

One, written by one ironically named, one presumes, Christian McQueen, even offers a personal Skype conversation w/ game guru, realChristianMcQueen.com/SkypeChristian.

Sure women seem to pick jerks rather than "perfect" gentleman" as this delusional dipwad saw himself.

First, gentleman don't murder; they summon courage to suck on the barrel and shoot.

Or summoning more courage, one lives knowing even beautful women make mistakes and pick pricks as partners, and we pray women flee abusive partmers or seek counselling amd push crappy partnerships to evolve in caring ways.

One such lady, Marilyn Spiegel, fled and divorced her abusive partner and again carved out a life away from Miami, finding love again and planning to marry her new love, who shared her love of sailing and boats.

Little comfort,then, that her ex husband found happy couple on their boat in Ft Meyers and murdered them, no doubt blaming the victims, blaming Marilyn because she wouldn't reconcile, snuffing out a wonderful life as recounted in Miami Herald.

She earned well deserved reknown as advocate for children, even gay kids and getting anti bullying act passed. In Florida. Where legislators fear The Gay, fear so much they might live in the closet as latent HoMO!-Sexuals.

Also reported the ex Mr Spigel--use the google for I shall not mention his name--arrested leaving boat in bloodstained coat carrying a briefcase.

In the briefcase reports local NBC affiliate, the human stain carried: bloody knife and gun, male boner pills, handcuffs, because nothing spells reconciliation like handcuffs a gun!

What kind of twisted fantasy did this creep act upon, let me cuff you and explain and you'll come back?

Asshole!

Grow up, grow a pair, and MOVE ON!

Count yourself lucky you at least got a chance at love. But abusers never see themselves as such; they blame the victim.

To young, affluent white guy w/ sense of entitlement feeling aggrieved for lack of female company, to pput it politely, GROW THE F*** UP! Try just seeing women as humans also, not just as owners of a vagina you want, and talk to them.

Golly even I--as well adjusted as I delusionally see myself--fear beautful

Time for Truth

While must try to have empathy for grieving parents, must observe might improve the univers to have DNA of Elliot Roger, the Santa Barbara shooter, removed from the gene pool as somehow crazy runs in the family, whether thru genetics or nurture or lack thereof or how some people accept the screwed up values of society.

Apparently as a poster on Jezebel pointed out, this jacknape, this trash, this stain upon the world-- oh that he would have taken his own life w/out killing others, sorry,parents

Fave New Blog

What Would Jack Do?

(Wrestling w/ href attributes still. Just Google phrase to find page.)

Trenchant, witty, funny, and spot on commentary. You go, Jack!

Naked Crook News

FL Today also reports on one Nikoli Prvulov, a man who crashed his vehicle into a lady's car.

Not content to merely endure arrest for, we might surmise, DUI, he exited his vehicle and stripped buck nekkid (took off all his clothes for those not versed in rural idioms).

Then, he went on a porch and tried to unscrew a lightbulb.

Why?

Who knows? The man crashed and then stripped down to his birthday suit. Obviously on some drugs I'd like to try. Crazy ass bastard.

By this time, local constables arrived and tried to restore the public peace by arresting aforesaid crazy ass bastard.

Even handcuffed, Naughty Nikoli somehow managed to clmb up the side of the police car. So they had to shackle him and since he insisted on spitting at the kind officers, they had to "guide" him into the squad car, hopefully introducing his head to the roof, repeatedly.

Law and order y'all; can't do without it, or else you'll have crazy ass bastàrds waving their winkies eveywhere.

We rank 8,138,132nd

OK, ranking thus sayeth Google might seem bad, but possibly billions of blogs have fewer viewers and/or page views than my humble offerings

Thanks to all of my tens of visitors.

Nevertheless, must ask how to increase my ranking, my commpetitive nature perhaps demands that. So along with my usual witty observations, I'll emulate TeeVee by adding sex and violence, in fact using recent violence towards women to analyze our rather patriarchal power structure and how it structures the world view of some "men."

But fist, some fun/ironic, nay even stupid items.

With NUDITY, NAKED, and later also SEX TOYS.

Immaculate Conception?

FL Today p3c: Local player NCBA World Series. Former Cocoa Beach resident Sky Beck, a member of a University of FL National Club Assoc. team which this year makes a second trip ina row, "The only 2 such births in UF's history."

So glad my favorite university has become the first in recorded human history to give birth. One wonders who impregnated the Gator, so to speak, if the birth came not from a virgin.

If the birth were not virgin, one would presume the male author of the act as the FL Legislature for it has raped higher education for decades.

That no other university has given birth we might ascribe to use of contraceptives. The University of FL ought then to have used birth control.

Or not, as great to have as many little Gators as possible.

(Wrestling w/ href as Youtube can't make up my mind.)

Delta IV Launch

Delta IV Launch of a Global Positioning Satellite. So much of our lives depends on these satellites;we'd literally be lost without them.

Lost unless we wanted to use ancient tools made of paper called Maps.

Maps have advantages: work without electrical power and even if network goes down.

"Ky Death Match"

Rolling Stone article, Rand Paul, "First guy since Reagan who could make being a selfish prick somehow culturally cool again."

Motherlovin' Unitarians

No,seriously, I mean unitarians preaching onthe mother force in the world, not motherlovin' in terms of a profanity. This of course activated my cynicism force, having a bunch of Birkenstock sandal shod crystal wearing females preaching on love.

Yes, Genesis 1:27 springs to mind, a non-patriarchal recount of Creation: "God created ..them in His own image...male and female He created them. So perhaps He also created us with elements of the other within us as well as an element of the divine, some connection to the universe inside these lumps of clay.

Modern physics teaches each particle in the universe connects and affects every other iota. So too our lives connect to and affect the lives of everyone we come in contact with. Then those in turn affect others.

Then the hemp wearing unitarian ladies led a song with hand gestures.

Cynic shields up. You go sister, but I ain't going there.

LeBron James vs.Donald Sterling,Grammar and Common Sense

Called a buddy from high school--a power forward I'd played with in high school, ancient by basketball standards but who'd managed to hang on for another year with the Orlando Magic as bench warmer, practice fodder, and 6' 11" power forward, 2 Buck Chuck--t o ask him what he thought of the Donald Sterling controversy.

"Shit, dis is news, an owner calling a player niggers?  We got global warming, Russian interventions, and 300 kidnapped girls in Nigeria, and media goes crazy over this?  Man, Rich DeVos [billionaire owner of the Orlando Magic] doesn't have any Negroes in the country clubs he goes to."

"But don't you find the comments Sterling reprehensible?"

"Don't you think it sucks the NBA has 1 owner of color, Vivek Ranadive, a brown man?Who else wanted to buy the Sacramento Kings?  No one"

"But we only have 32 NBA teams, and they rarely come up for sale."

"Yeah, and DeVos's country club can't find a qualified black member, like Augusta National just admitted a black in 1990 but didn't tell anyone his name."

"But things have moved towards equality in the 21st century?"

"Tell that to a black, gay man in the south thinking about coming out to his family.  Or how about Augusta National not admitting women until 2014?" 

"Well, LeBron James says players should boycott if Sterling stays as an owner."

"Tell him to do another McDonald's commercial and shut the fuck up.  He doesn't feed my family.  Even though DeVos doesn't even know my name, the checks he writes pays my mortgage.

Besides, he should shut his mouth, getting quoted using a double negative in a sentence.  Ignorant bitch maybe should have gone to college.  He ain't even an officer in the union.  How can he speak for all the players, for me?"

"Wait, chill big bro', you can't speak about King James like that!"

"Shit, talk about him, I'll smack hum in the mouth if he tries to dunk on me.  King James my ass!  He doesn't speak for every player so the media shouldn't run to him all the time for quotes."

"I should tape you and sell it.  Say something bad about Magic Johnson."

"Yeah, like Sterling's girlfriend sold him out.  Damn, the dude just tryin' to get laid.  And I axt you, what man wants his girlfriend getting photographed with Magic Johnson?"

"They only got into a picture together."

"It starts that way, sitting together at a basketball game.  Then they go to coffee, then a lunch, then her complaining about her man, and pretty soon Magic banging the hell out of her."

"Yes, my wife played that script often enough.."

S\"See, so when it comes to a man dealing with his woman, we ought to give the white brother a break."

Yay! Got My Laptop Back!!

Long suffering, possibly saint of a brother in law fixed my laptop which had unfortunately gotten introduced to the floor from a height of 5'.  Not good.  Apparently, no permanent harm done, only a connection knocked loose.

Dang Compaq laptops must have a sturdy mainframe (a computer pun for ye).

Now, I'll have ability to copy AND paste, tools which have launched thousands of bloggers into careers writing bullshit from their parents' basements, writing BS about Obama and "Libtards."

Some like Bill Simmons willl even get picked up by/sell their souls to ESPN to write snarky jokes and crap on reputations of athletes whose jocks he weren't worthy to carry.

Or Ezra Klein, statistics Boy, lately of Wahington Post now on some platform paid for by some billionaire with a wet dream of launching the next digital empire.

I'm back in town, bitches, with months of stored up vitriol and renewed dedication to writing with as much cynicism as the internet bear, satire that cuts, folds, spindles, and mutilates.

Rule #22

Always eat your pie backwards. That way, you get the crust out of the way first.

Alleged Mark Twain Quote {Updated with actual quote}

Those who don't read newspapers are uninformed.

Those who do read newspapers are under informed.

(Working on my links. Foreign papers bring alternate views, like Tampa Bay Times fo progressive views.) :)


{Almost nailed it from memory.  Now that working with laptop lets me use more than 1 tab, found the real quotes: “If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
― Mark Twain)

CBS Morning News Interview

Saw interview Thursday w/ star of new movie "Belle," Gugu Mbatha-Raw.

Am I the only 1 who hoped for a Gugu Gaga interview, with Lady Gaga that would be.

Gugu Gaga. Ha ha!

Happpy belated Battle of Pueblo Day.

The Archaeology News Network: Israeli claims to have found King David's citadel

The Archaeology News Network: Israeli claims to have found King David's citadel

We Was Rubes

Watching NBA playoffs while wearing my Magic jersey and seeing the legions of Orlando Magic alumni still playing,it occurs to me Richie Rich DeVos sold we citizens of Orlando a bill of goods, a fairy tale, a half baked silly dream, that if we invested $500 million in a basketball palace Dwight would stay and our little town would join ranks of basketball royalty.

Just like Amway induces marks to part w/ hard earned cash in dream of becoming distributors and moving up the steps of the Amway pyramid--prosecuted in several states as an illegal pyramid scheme--the Magic got the local yokels to pay up for a classic bait and switch, giving a low wage young team while pricey veterans still playing in post season.

Oh, they created cap room they say, rebuild through the draft. Yes, rebuild w/ players subject to a rookie wage scale. They and all sentient beings on earth knew Dwight would leave, taking less $ to escape the NBA hinterland.

Cap room for free agents, we hear.

If you believe LeBron coming to Orlando, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

Meanwhile the Michigan carpetbagger, Richie Rich DeVos, laugbs all the way to the bank, remaining profitable as reported in the Orlando Sentinel, with local TV revenue, sponsorships, and revenue sharing from the Association

Meanwhile the rubes, the hayseeds, the hicks got hosed and gave us pipe dreams in return for $500 millionin public funds.

Iron Throne in Orlando

Cher coming to the Richie Rich basketball palace, the Amway Centre, and now the cable Evil Empire, Brighthouse, announces the Iron Throne from the HBO hit show Game of Thrones will come to Orlando.

With typical Orlando Sentinel shoddiness, headline sez you can sit on Throne but article fails to mention so might prove just a photo op on 16 May, at Brighthouse Death Star/Service center, 1906 S Semoran Blvd, 9:30 am - 5:30 pm.

Still, CHER! And Iron Throne. "Big time, Bill, big time"

Right Wing Joke

A communist, a Muslim, and an alien walk into a bar.




The bartender sez, "Welcome, Mr. President."




Ba ba bump!

Mix Metaphors Much?

"....we want to do projects in rank order that accomplish the most bang for the buck,....this batting order accomplishes that," said Maurice Sterling, quoted in FL Today, 30 April '

This rank mixing of metaphors rates as a less than sterling example of the use of the English language. If only we could see the Chicago Cubs lineup get some bang for the bucks, or perhaps blow up the roster and get some who could accomplish a winning season!

My Inner Donald Sterling

Read with interest today the statement of the Orlando Magic condemning comments by owner of Los Angeles Clippers. Rich DeVos, worth billions and founder of Amway, owns the Magice.

How many black folks have membership in Rich's countryclub?

Zero. C'mon, how many rich whites hang w/ blacks? Probably only Mark Cuban.

Recently where I reside, a granddaughter visited my friend with her boyfriend, who looked black. My first reaction cam3 that wondered how her family took it. Why did I react that way? Why did I care? My inner racist peeking out? Damnitall!

Horoscope o' mine

Leo: You've overcome enough...to realize some of the things people call obstacles are merely speedbumps.

(Damn, I hate horoscopes.)