Not too bad things about life in a wheelchair

1. Nothing.  This will seriously suck--for the rest of my life.
2. My Converse Chuck Taylors should last the rest of my life.
3. Will have my own seat at crowded events and bars.
4. With a parka over my head, will have my own homeless shelter.
5. People too clueless to see me might bruise their shins on the chair.  If not, I can run over their feet.
6. I can finally get treated with dignity, respect, financial support, and compassion by society at large.       Ha, ha, ha, just kidding.
7. I can finally get treated with dignity, respect, financial support, and compassion by doctors, nurses, and the medical community at large at large.  Ha, ha, ha, just kidding.
8. I should finally get some sympathy from females at my local pub.  Ha, ha, ha, just kidding, I wrote should, not will.
9. At least, this will give total strangers leave to tell me God has a plan for everything, and to tell how Aunt Petunia lost her left leg, right eye, and hearing in the great fireworks mishap of '83 but still remains positive, happy, upbeat, and knits scripture verses on pillows for the heathen.