Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Don't Move to Florida

Sure come to visit and spend your hard earned ducats, euros, and dollars to keep our low wage service economy going, but please don't plan on coming to live.

We will soon run out of water; ever' damn body has a gun and can't wait to stand their ground, and we have crooks aglore, some seemingly too stupid to even breathe.

Things get weird in a hurry down here.

It would help to be crazy to live here, but you gotta embrace the strange: such as the cutest convict or actual flesh eating zombies, and sinkholes swallowing our penninsula.

Rule # 1, cardio.

"Sinkholes illustrate an interesting point: In some cases, what we call natural disasters actually aren't. Florida's sinkhole problem is partially due to a shrinking water table, caused by millions of thirsty citizens. To its credit, the state is looking for alternatives for potable water, and is actually a global leader in desalination. But desalination remains an extremely expensive, energy-inefficient process of turning saltwater into consumable water."  emphasis added

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