Stupid Crook News

Ought not to pile on or judge these people, but their exploits make my miserable life--stuck in hospital over Christmas--more tolerable.  Plus, I find 'em funny.

When visiting and not miving to Florida, remember that alligators, as endangered species, have more legal protections than you do.  The law forbids screwing 'round with gators in any way but knd of countenances you getting shot down fer nuthin.

Also, gators will eat you so stay the frank away, even if you have a powerful thirst.
[A man looking to trade a live, four-foot long alligator for a 12-pack of beer at a Miami convenience store was cited for the illegal possession and attempted sale of the creature, NBC News reports.

Fernando Caignet Aguilera came across the gator at a nearby park, where he trapped it, according to Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) spokesman Jorge Pino. Although there are no specific laws that apply to Aguilera’s case, it’s illegal to harass, touch or feed alligators in the state.] http://www.salon.com/2013/12/17/florida_man_caught_on_video_trying_to_pay_for_beer_with_a_live_alligator/

Next, don't drink and drive; you might spill your drink.  Especially don't drink and drive, sell drugs, crash into a local fire house, and flee.  Just don't do it.
[OVIEDO, Fla. —

Police are looking for the driver who crashed into an Oviedo fire station.

Oveido police said they spotted a suspicious SUV behind a shopping center on Alafaya Trail early Tuesday morning.

But the driver took off as soon as the officers approached, authorities said.

A few minutes later, they found out that same SUV crashed into a fire station on Central Avenue.

Oviedo Fire Chief Lars White said, "I would suspect they've got some serious injuries. Damage to our fire engine will have it out of service temporarily. Our rescue vehicle is OK...."

Police said they found cocaine and pills in the car, and think the driver may have been dealing drugs out of the car.]