Calvary Chapel, Melbourne, FL, 2 pm-8 pm Christmas Eve.
Do I bring presents?
If yes, should I go vengeful deity thing and look for Philistine's foreskins or peaceful hippie thing like hemp bracelet?
What do you give the God Who already has, literally, everything?
Should I make plans for after?
Can I send my youngest sister who hates me for some well-deserved smiting?
Should I call ahead for reservation? Oh just tell me the less crowded times since You already know.
Even Mormons allowed.?
How should I dress: black tie or FL casual? Flip Flops allowed or marking wearer for damnation?
If my family---people related to me by blood--attends, I'm drinking.
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