[I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, as right-wing cracker-jackanape jackboots goose-step toward 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I've decided it would be more patriotic of me to forgo whipping out a bombastic blowhard essay in these lean economic times and instead patronize an Americanly small business whose customer service cannot be cheaply outsourced to some godforsaken outpost outside the Lower 48, you betcha.
So I'm off to the Uptowner tavern/charm school majestically crammed onto the corner of wistfully hysteric Humboldt Boulevard and the fabled Center Street. Tag along if you like, but you cover the first round. Let's get going...
Art: Hey gents. What do you hear, what do you know.
Julius: I hear that the Republicans are now all of a sudden against any tax cuts if the cuts are for the mom-and-pop regular Joes struggling to maintain a pot to pee in, instead of for the fat cat uber-rich assholes who bankroll the campaigns of congressional Tea Party types to destroy truth, justice and the American way.
Herbie: They all got a big boner over this idea of an “ownership society,” which means Congress Republicans and their donor pals own all the money and all the power, and the rest of us baboons own a one-way ticket to Palooka-focking-ville...]