Thursday, October 27, 2011

When Penis Pumps Get Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Penis Pumps.

Or, when you outlaw penis pumps, you can pry mine from my cold, dead...

Hold on; stay in control, not even the Mad Satirist can go there, male that he be.

[A former judge in Oklahoma has lost his pension after he was convicted of indecent exposure for using a penis pump under his robes during trials.

Donald Thompson, formerly a judge in Creek County, Oklahoma, was found guilty in 2006 of four felony counts for using the penis pump, and wound up serving 20 months in prison.

On Tuesday the state Supreme Court upheld a ruling that stripped Thompson of his $7,789 a month in pension benefits in 2006. Thompson had asked for his full benefits to be restored from his over 20 years on the bench.

The court unanimously upheld the initial ruling, by the Oklahoma Public Employees Retirement System Board of Trustees, which determined that Thompson had violated his oath of office after he was convicted.

“The uncontested facts revealed multiple felonies committed while Mr. Thompson presided over jury trials, and the offended parties included court personnel,” wrote Justice James Winchester in the opinion, according to the Oklahoman. “Court reporters observed the felonious exposure of Mr. Thompson’s private parts, and testified to the fact during the criminal trial. That trial resulted in conviction of felonies. Those felonies violated Mr. Thompson’s oath of office.”]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Obviously, he didn't want to be seen as being soft on convicts ;-)